In hiding!

Saturday, April 30, 2005

Glod Are Politically Aware

Who Should You Vote For?

Who should I vote for? v2

Your expected outcome:


Your actual outcome:

Labour 18
Conservative -20
Liberal Democrat 43
Green 59

You should vote: Green

The Green Party, which is of course strong on environmental issues, takes a strong position on welfare issues, but was firmly against the war in Iraq. Other key concerns are cannabis, where the party takes a liberal line, and foxhunting, which unsurprisingly the Greens are firmly against. The Greens are also anti-Europe.

Take the test at Who Should You Vote For

Now all I have to do is wait until I'm old enough to vote, damn it. At least I'm old enough to heckle and intimidate voters.

Friday, April 29, 2005

Capitulistik pigs

dem bludy guvermint peepul ulways nickin muni frum us pur giys. now we must stand

up tu dem an fiyt fur owr riyts n stuf. ull hu r wiv me rays yur

hand now. i no i cant se yu but i no yu did it cos i magic.
abitwicked, I need your e-mail so I can send my avatwar to you in secret n so andy can talk to you in a annoyin manner.

What I learned today

Men are always slightly overweight and balding, not to mention clumsy. Women are always savvy and far cooler than men. Girls are always around 16-18 years old and are goth-lite. Boys are always 10-13, goofy and the most annoying things on the planet. All women care about is chocolate, dieting and shopping. That's what I think after having been brainwashed by television and magazines. Oh, and only women play bingo. Every night. And get drunk. With all their friends. See what I mean?
I desperately want to kill Nelly. And that other guy. I'll remember his name eventually, but I hate that Usher too. Bastard. And Akorn. Yes I know, and get stuffed if you care. I hate all these disposable dance groups who are releasing crappy singles with disturbing regularity. The gits. And git-ettes. I don't think it's Mos Def, but it might be a bit like that.
Where the Hell is my Dinosaur Jr. album!? My cousin's had it for about 2 months now, and I really want it back. Bad. I'll get a Smashing Pumpkins album when I get it back, so now I've got to keep that for ages just to spite him.
Nope, still don't know who it is.
Still have yet to set up shrine to KIm Gordon. I'll get there.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Free Answer!

Did you guess correctly? If so, give yourself a shiny!
Posted by Hello

Monday, April 25, 2005

The Most Amazing First Ever PF-Soup What Happens Next Picture Contest.

Answers on a postcard please, no later than 27th of May.
Posted by Hello

Thursday, April 21, 2005

I steal from the rich, and give to the tourists...

This will easily bring tourists from all corners of the world to Mansfield (anyone heard of Mansfield?). I never like it when people said 'all four corners of the world' because it's a fucking sphere, after all. Anyways, this is what all the fuss is about. I think it's a dreadful idea, although it may well turn out quite well, and the blog's bound to know about it. Therefore, I decree a journey to the park when it's completed, to see if it was worthy of an article in the chad. It would have to be so terribly awful not to be though...

Please Don't Eat Me

Something needs to be done in time after exams. On such thing would be finding a sufficiently large chunk of forest and living in it, ought to be a bit of a laugh. Unfortunately there are some concerns (in no order other than to try and build some suspense): dying of dehydration, wouldn't be able to starve if I tried; the law; being "rescued" by kindly ramblers; and finally, this.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Muller's 'mock'

Finally done Muller's mock exam. Here you go. Yes, it's hilarious. Glod wrote that, the rascal. Remember to read it out loud. Very loud. If you're wondering, yes we (WE!) stole it, but now it's back home in his folder. And he'll need it, he is, after all, never here, so he won't be able to do his exam so that mock's his lifeline. And it ain't much of one. Thank gods for the recover post bit, some cunts reset computer so I thought I was stuffed. No I wasn't. At all. aBitWicked (or thereabouts) is surprisingly... winky. I like her. I liked her before, but now I like her about as much as I did before because now I know what my #1 fan looks like. Nice. Flower's good too. And not the Soundgarden song. But that's good too. Ah, I need Superunknown. I have Ultramega OK, so that's a good start. I also need... more stuff...

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Mobile Zen

Continued one post down...
Posted by Hello

Very zen, as well as uncomfortable, and too big to use, and it drips water down your arm, but hey. Amazing what you can do with an old sock, a lump of marble, a lawn, and three tubes of super glue. Man am I dead when the kind person who bought me that phone finds out.
Posted by Hello

I Scare Myself Sometimes

Being a blogger I realise that I'm part of a new breed, the elite, the crème de la crème (Maiden, (who is indeed a separate entity) that means the double cream). However I really did not appreciate the full extent of this until yesterday, when I saw someone desperately trying to beat the computer at Playboy Tic-Tac-Toe. Being a kindly fellow I offered my services and promptly proceeded to win, on my first attempt, a picture built around a pair of breasts. It really is amazing how my life has improved since blogging.

Monday, April 18, 2005

Fwd: [pandorabots-general] rookie!

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Call Center Online <>
Date: Apr 13, 2005 10:04 PM
Subject: [pandorabots-general] rookie!

I am from Brazil and i think this is the first answer from ine rookie with
other to change the questions in english to my language?

thank you and sorry about boring with so elemantar question!

Tem algum botmaster brasileiro?

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Friday, April 15, 2005

Well Done, Gordan Smart

I'm sure this would have been a surprise for Peter, had it not appeared on the third page of (sadly) Britains biggest selling news (ha!) paper.
Dumbass Showbiz Reporter.
I don't really like The Sun, not since it felt the need to describe Bin Laden as "bearded".
Yay misanthropy!

Well look who it fucking well is

For the second time EVER I'd like to point out how livid I am that Ava confused me and Glod. Now, I'm resisiting the urge to say something that I'll regret, suffice to say that I'm really quite angry. I know it's a bit petulant, but Glod was never going to go to Edfringe, or atleast not to do The Play. I guess I feel a bit like Glod's become the leading force in the blog, saying Maiden's avatar's crap (though not in a chronological sense), and other stuff that I won't bother saying but all of which feeds his ego and gives him the continued feeling that because he created the blog, he's the only important one, followed by the readership and then us pieces of shit who are nowhere near as important as the readership because our Lord Glod knows us so even if we do nothing there's always the whole 'he knows us in real-life' thing to fall back on and after all, Glod's the only important one on the blog so we might as well just crawl into our graves and die. And now, the readership (what a stupid fucking name) thinks that all the interesting stuff happens to him, even planning to go to Edfringe. Well, that's about it. And if you don't like it then fuck you.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Second Post

Ava, Glodis overly obssessed over you, he won't shut up about you at school. If I were you, I'd keep away from him, or at least stop treating him in a way that makes us all feel like you are obssessed with him as well. Unless you are obssessed with him. But it's not my place to tell.

Well,There Go My Plans for This Year

If you can't be arsed to read all of this just think "shit". But at least this will be broadcast in May.
Perhaps maybe I should mention the main theme to help my readers, but maybe not.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Bob, and Phillip

Ava is not the only one who can post pictures of friends and pets (being petty makes me feel good). Here are Phillip and Bob. Bob is two healthy looking (I think), albeit small, examples of Sarracenia Minor, who eat beetles even though they cause the pitchers to rot and die (indegestion?). Do you realise how often the word "die" appears in this faq (please note, the window sill section is only a small part of the whole). I think I've done pretty well considering I grow it in a bottle, on a north facing window sill, forget to water it, don't let it hiberante, and can't be arsed to re-pot it. Phillip is fine also.
Since all this abuse seems to be too good for just one (ok, two) plant I'm thinking of growing some other sarracenia, what should I choose?

Posted by Hello


As you probably don't know, after this post, Colonel Ducky will be gone. As such, I'm here to give him a nice farewell, if not a particularly good one.
An ode to Ducky
Goodbye Colonel Ducky
to the March section
I like to think you guided us
towards the right direction
I spent an awfully long time
trying to crop your hat
now relegated to the past
and that, I guess, is that
Well, that's the poem over with. Now I'd like to spend some time telling you all about how great Colonel Ducky was. He was not a selfish rubber duck. He worked hard to get to where he was, that is to say, he worked hard to become a Colonel. He had to leave a lot of friends, which I guess is kind of selfish, but he donated all of his wages that he didn't need to live to worthy causes, so many worthy causes in fact, that I won't even start listing them. It doesn't matter that he now has a mansion, because that was donated by the orphans he had raised from to be either astronauts or the inventors of all-new miracle drugs. He was offered one from Dubya Bush, but he told him he'd rather leave the navy and become a full-time dog-poo-on-the-floor-picker-upper-without-even-using-an-inverted-carrier-bag-on-your-hand-er. That showed him. and that's just about it. Probably download Stoner Witch by Melvins some time this week. Other than that, not much more to say. Kim Gordon, why do you ignore me? Is it because I haven't said anything to you yet?

Friday, April 08, 2005

Lies, all of it.

Advertising is corrupt. 20 seconds of television in which to pledge allegiance to a capitalistic empire.
Anyway. I thought my life was pretty much complete. Then along with New Scientist came a parasitic leaflet offering me 3 books for 3 Pounds (I'm in tears now, because shitty AOL has eaten this post for the third time, my eyes hurt and I can't see the keyboard because it's past my bedtime so I'm sitting in darkness, and frigging Dell's frigging keyboard won't let me type a pound sign despite the fact that it's clearly above the 3, watch: # see?). Included was The Radioactive Boyscout, the astonishing true story of a boy scout who built a nuclear reactor in his shed. Glod is Glod is Glod, so I want that book. Look at the pretty front cover, the hero in a triumph salute, he's done great things, and in a shed.
Amazon, however, seems to imply that it's a depressing tale of a boy failed by society which allowed him to endanger everyone around him through his neurotic obsession. Surprisingly this was for a badge, though exactly which one is not made clear. But still, it is only a pound.

I don no

First post, there

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Glod The Artist

My first corpse has finally been posted, a corpse being a picture composed of several segment drawn by different people being given just a small slice of the previous slice for the sake of continuity.
Hopefully now that I've gained recognition in the art world people'll buy my art on e-bay stay tuned!), including, but not limited, pop-up desk tidies fashioned entirely from free leaflets on how to start a business. You know you want one.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Meme Time

Courtesy of Ava ('Cause I'm weird)

You're stuck inside Fahrenheit 451, which book do you want to be?
This book I read once, may or may not have been one the Adrian Mole ones, anyway the main character writes some trashy novel, and the main character of that writes some ridiculous novel about cave people, and a cave person begins writing a book, in the dirt, with a stick. I want to be that last book because it seems the most likely to survive. I may, of course, actually dreamt all of this.
Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?
I'm surprised to say, no. I'm usually very detached emotionally from characters, I've just realised. When Corporal Carrot got shot in Men at Arms I felt emotion for a character for the only time. He's such a great dwarf. He couldn't die! And then he got better, before his girlfriend got shot. Didn't care about her though.
The last book you bought is
Ted L Nancy's Letters from a Nut, the letters about the mannequin and the deceased neighbour are hilarious, remember to read out loud for full effect.
The last book you read:
Can't remember, might of been Peter Carey's Wrong About Japan
What are you currently reading
The Time Traveler's Wife, about a bloke who sporadically accidentally slips through time, and includes many interesting social situations, such as what to do when you're completely naked and meet your 6 year old future wife. Though I think the author has a hidden agenda when it transpires that he can keep it slightly under control by having sex as often as possible. Convenient that, could have been tidllywinks.
Five books you would take to a deserted island and why?
Unfortunately the BBC series Rough Science doesn't have a book, so if I can't do science in the wilderness I'll just have to make do with survival, using the SAS Survival Guide. The second choice would be The Collapse of Chaos by Jack Cohen and Ian Stewart. It would keep me busy for a while as I try to grasp some of the harder concepts of why a lot of conventional (reductionist, which tries to explain to explain things from simpler levels) science is fundamentally flawed and that most things can be explained by simple external interaction, mainly in the fields of evolution and emergent properties. It's actually quite hard to describe this amazing book, which covers so many things, so just read it, ok. FHM, I have no idea what months of isolation will do to you sexually, and I think both me and the animal inhabitants would be happy if I didn't take any chances. Still two more to go, darn it. Well Desert Island Discs can't be wrong, they give everyone the Bible and complete works of Shakespeare, so I'll take them too.
Who are you going to pass this stick to (3 persons) and why?
Jay, because Librarians have feelings too.
Android, because he keeps pretending to be suicidal, and seemed quite upset that he didn't get these questions
Ned, she has funky eyebrows.

Friday, April 01, 2005

Do I look like a robot?

Sorry about last night's post. I was a bit out of it. Kyle no longer has phone, camera or access to PC since his mum allegedly found porn on his computer. Poor guy. He'll probably get loads of texts off 'friends' he's found on Yahoo. Josh's mum's wedding tomorrow. Groom's scottish so Josh'll be in a kilt.
Rock out censorship!
Bailey seems to have forgotten how much trouble we're supposed to be in for the conga. Oh well, he may remember before we go back. Do you remember how Maiden was on the internet on Tuesday when we slapped him with a fish? I'm sure he was... This means that he has no good reason to not blog. That git.
I'll be grazing by you window, please come pat me on the head, just wanna find out what your, nice to me for