In hiding!

Friday, September 30, 2005


These two children (each formed from a single line) don't like to think. That's why they're watching Memoire le chien d'ordinaire leap through a flaming nuclear envelope.
They'll be expected to recall this in a year or two, perfectly, but all without thinking 'Why?'

I miss my physics, I know a lot of it, but at least I can think.
Sitting next to cheerfull people doesn't help, so I feed her to the many eyed serpent in the corner as an afterthought. Why is it many eyed? I don't know, it's not in the syllabus.

Farewell my bacterial cell. I don't want to memorise your wonderfull organelles, I want my equations and their applications.

Can I have a hug Android?

Last sunday it dawned on me that I couldn't remember the last hug I had. I spent most of the day in the foetal position, listening to Radio 1 and Neil Young. I suppose I should have expected such a period of down time, considering that I'd spent the previous night dancing to Maximo Park and whatever MTV put on. But that didn't matter. I was depressed. Then, presumably on monday, I got a hug. You may think this would have made me happier, but it didn't, all things considered. My new best friend or something like that was leaving the college we go to. The tenses are a nightmare in this situation, but I presume you get the gist. To console me, he gave me a hug. Also, I want you to start looking at freak scene again. I've gotten back into the habit of updating it (sort of), but I won't bother if nobody looks at it.
I think I might be evil. I don't think I'm evil, I think I'm right in thinking what I think, but it's not the most kosher of opinions. Me and Melissa are now friends (hard as it is to believe), and her sister is disabled. She has cerebral palsy. She can't walk, she can hardly control her arms and though she can speak, it's not exactly Queen's English.. This is where the evil bit comes in. I really can't find anything to like about her. She's moody, selfish and she's forever asking her parents to take her to the toilet. Which gets really annoying. Really quickly. When she feels she has to express her opinions, she tends to do so by shouting. Which is somewhat less than therapeutic. The dog's one of the worst things. She has the disabled equivalent to a guide dog. She hasn't trained it to do anything more than what it had already been taught to do. Which isn't to say that she doesn't love it. She quite fervently reinforces the fact that her canine helper (not that helps anyone to do anything, ever) is the best friend that she's ever had. You know how when little kids get a dog, they think it's the greatest thing ever, and they get t-shirts with slogans ammounting to the fact that dogs rock and can play bass guitars or some crap like that? Well, she's like one of them. Her screen name on msn is 'dogs rule cats drool'. For a start, that's very immature (especially for a 17 year old). On top of that, dogs drool, cats don't. Simple as that. Any criticism of her is unwaranted because she's just a poor little disabled girl. The first time her family went to florida, they went to Busch Gardens. She was complaining when we were there this year because her dad wouldn't take her on the inverted roller coaster there. It turns out that her dad took her on that big wooden roller coaster that shakes your joints apart just prior to the inverted one, and that she was so mortified by it that she daren't go on any other rides. Upon this revelation I said to her, 'stop complaining then', and I was met with a stoney silence and harsh looks from my family, as if telling a disabled person, in a comparatively nice way, to stop whining was taboo. To which I thought 'bullshit'. She also likes mcfly. Whenever I criticise them, she screams about how at least they make nice music and if they're so crap then why don't they kill themselves like Kurt Cobain who killed himself so Nirvana must have been crap because if you were in a good band you wouldn't kill yourself, hey hey HEY!? The first time she put forward a point like this, I simply told her that if you're depressed, no amount of money or fame would stop you being so, and that if she was so naive to think that cash could cure sadness, then she could, in no uncertain terms, go screw mcfly on their diamond plated yacht on the moon. Which took her by surprise. The thing that annoys me most about her, though, is her education. She isn't that smart. She's probably about average in the intelligence stakes. She's doing a-level english and media or something like that, which is handy, because it means that if she gets Cs (highly unlikely, seeing as how she's in D territory after only the first year) and there's some big celebration because it shows how big a genius she really is, I'll be able to compare my results with hers a year later. I don't think she'll seem that amazing after I finish the courses. But there's more. After the first year, a-level students go straight back to college to start work on the as-level section. That's a pretty basic rule of the education system. Not for our wheelchair bound friend, however. On the first day of the as course, when everyone else was back working, she was in Nottingham, shopping. And it's not like her parents got her out of school, either. It was one of her school's special needs helpers, taking her out for a day of merriment and clothes. I thought, 'if she wants to get her grades up, shopping isn't the best way to do so', but I didn't say it because her education is a bit of a sore spot for the family. On top of all this, she's probably going to get into university. If she can even survive living on her own for more than a few days, she'll probably fail all of her courses. Which is OK, because she wants to be a journalist. Did someone say, 'no grasp of critical writing'? Yes. I think they did. Like I said, I don't think thinking all this stuff makes me bad, but I still can't escape the feeling that someone's going to call me the new Hitler. Oh well, at least I've got it all off my chest.

Thursday, September 22, 2005


Today is the autumnal equinox, not that I'd noticed the sun neatly rising directly east, and officially the start of the the most colourful autumn in living memory.
So, 'tis the season of new beginnings and whatnots (almost) and so I begin by linking to a site of one of my peers, purely to keep me in context, you understand.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

It's just Ping Pong for landowners

Tennis has really got me down. I think it's the US Open at the moment. What a load of crap. My mum and sister watch it, and I'm constantly criticizing the game in front of them, as yet to no avail. 'It's just two people with no real jobs hitting a ball back and forth' 'All that money she gets paid and she can't even hit the ball' 'Come on, this is just crap'. My latest tennisular hang-up is what happens when they win a point (if it's just 'a point', then why does it go 15, 30, 40... Obviously, it's because medieval people worshipped the number 60 but couldn't be arsed with saying other numbers fully. Durh). When they win a point, they both stop running around, and instead look at the floor and wander vaguely to where on the court they've got to go, checking strings and the like, but not looking happy. That's what gets me. I'm guessing completely at what tennis players earn, but if I could get paid as much as they probably do, for playing a crap game of tennis, I think they'd have to pay me to stop me smiling.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was great. I have to admit, I was never that thrilled by the original (the bit with the boat and the creepy psychedelics never failed to scare me), and I was quite glad when I heard that Tim Burton was re-making it. Largely because I knew he probably wouldn't put in some stupid scene on a boat set against a wall of all the bad acid trips The Beatles ever had. And he didn't. Hoorah! Johnny Depp was great - too weird for some, but I thought he captured the slighty insane edge that Willie Wonka is supposed to have. However, I don't like child actors. Never have. I also dislike most adult actors for the same reason - I think they're all hired because of how they look. Sometimes, they have to buck the trend (or do they? What do you think, Gimli?) but it's mostly because of looks. Take Keanu Reeves. I think Audioslave summed up his acting style. Anyway, I think casting guys go for cuteness with kids. I must admit, I think the 'bad' ones were quite good. But Charlie was a bit... Neutral. The adult actors were great, though. And I'll say it again, especially Johnny Depp. So yeah, great film. Corpse Bride next.

Monday, September 05, 2005

I have never been less ready to do this

I am angry and sad. My muse has left. I've tried writing something new for Freak Scene, but I can only write lumpy drivel. I don't particularly want to blog. Everyone's either depressing me or not stopping me being depressed. My Playstation 2 broke. The laser just stopped working. So I've had to buy a new one. And now I'm in debt. Not much debt, but it's still stopping me from buying anything for the next few weeks. And there is rather a lot I want to buy. Well, not really a lot, but with debt and all... It's a month and a half before I can buy this. And then there's Off The Wall... That said, I've still got a week before I start college, and I'm going to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory tomorrow, so that should be good. And that's about it.